ami was a recluse

i've been lost in my head a lot lately.
sometimes i wish that the having the desire to share things with someone could be considered enough. there is a bit of guilt that plagues an introvert.

maybe i'm just better at listening.

settling into the apartment is going well. the neighbors are slightly on the noisy side, but that's a small thing. the lovely weather is even more cause to praise the amount of windows.
it's just seeming a little hard to get back into the swing of things, the routine. i guess now would be the best time to begin new routines, or just do away with them all together. time will tell how things go, but for now, i am content.

my ipod and i have been spending a lot of time outside. having a mini arboretum not even a block away makes it even more enjoyable. there is something indescribably serene about feeling the brisk wind on your skin, the slight warmth of the sun on your face, with your eyes closed. this will destroy you has proven to be a good soundtrack for such times.

the weed and the wine have conspired together. they wish to have my undivided attention, and insist i end this ranting to someone, or no one.

yet to get old

as if reading it a ridiculous amount of times is not enough, i find myself equally addicted to this adaptation. if you haven't, you should.

titus.

i owe someone some details. i want to share, but after a few beverages, the keyboard and i end our friendship. maybe video messages are the way to go. prerecorded if imbibing too much may be best, hit record halfway through drink one. i'm rambling, in the wrong place at that.

here, my thoughts are slow. to him, they'd be faster than my influenced fingers would allow me to type.

Joys This Evening

1. I just realized that I can watch Leave Her To Heaven entirely on Youtube.
2. Pinot Noir.
3. Those two things being combined.

Starting Fresh

It looks like I am moving. After six years in this quiet little apartment, I say goodbye.

It'll be weird, not being here. It's been so long. So many things have taken place inside these walls. Kori has grown into the beautiful human being she is today before my eyes, in this place. I've laughed, screamed, cried, shared, loved, danced (oh goodness, have I danced), grown, in this place.

We've just outgrown it. While I will miss the 5 acre wooded yard and the lack of neighbors, I need more space and windows. Oh, how i yearn for more natural light. Plus the girl in me loves the claw foot bathtub. I am not looking forward to the hassle that comes with relocating, but I am hopeful of the outcome.

Here are a few photos. I have more, but these are out of RAW at the moment.

A Forced Entry

It's been snowing since yesterday. I got to spend the day at home because of that. Kori and I spent the day playing in the snow, shoveling and baking banana bread. No better way to spend a forced snow day.

Is it weird that I have yet another online blog that I tell no one about? I wonder if it is even worth it, having myself split up between two 'journals'. Real thoughts and kind of real thoughts. But half way through the the thought, I've answered it. It is. It is getting the thoughts out, just at a level of comfort that I need. I guess. Babble babble, this wretched weed!

I've had some inappropriate dreams lately. My cheeks flush as I typed that. Clearly not ready to talk about that.

I am hoping that the shoveling out of my car tomorrow morning is no that big of an ordeal....
I really should have done something about it today.

My weekend didn't go as planned. While this bummed me out a bit, I tried to be photographically productive anyhow. There are some posted on my flickr page. This one I began working on this evening. I'm not sure why I liked it, but I did. It isn't finished and I had to stop working on it. I find that if I look at a photo too long, while doing postwork, I begin to find things I hate. I'll revisit it tomorrow or something and finish it.
But here it is so far:



I'm not sure what I think about it anymore. But we'll see in a day or two.

Untitled

across the pond
reeds bow against
the soft charge of night

change

further down
they are fingers
inviting me to the pleasures
of Death by water

it's split-second
passion, it's surrendered
sound of exploding lungs

like poor bells ringing
underwater, and
it's late at night.

too tired for words

Damien Rice and Red Wine are lulling me to sleep tonight.